A wedding in Korea

Last weekend my boyfriend and I were invited to a wedding in Seoul. This was the third wedding I've attended in Korea, but this one was kind of a big deal for me, because it was my boyfriend's cousin who was getting married and that meant I got to meet my boyfriend's parents, his sister and other relatives :)

There are roughly two types of weddings in Korea. The traditional kind where the bride and the groom wear wedding hanboks and all... and the non-traditional wedding that is a bit similar to the weddings in Europe or America. The first wedding I attended was a traditional one. It was my Slovenian friend getting married to his Korean girlfriend. The second wedding was a non-traditional type and it was my classmate from Korean class (he's Korean, but lived in America most of his life) getting married to his Korean girlfriend. And this one was also a non-traditional one. My boyfriend's cousin (the bride) and the groom are both Koreans but live in Australia.

Korean weddings usually take place in special wedding halls. You can see lots of them everywhere in Jeonju. They are these huge buildings with lots of wedding halls inside and there are usually a lot of weddings taking place in the same hall on the same day. So when you walk in the building there is a type of schedule on the first floor that tells you what wedding is taking place at what time and on what floor. This one started at 5:30pm on a Saturday, so I think it was the last one that day. My boyfriend and I arrived there a bit after 5pm and most of the guests were already there. The groom was talking to the guests while the bride was sitting in a special small room where she was taking photos with the guests. We walked there to greet her and we also took a photo with her. She looked beautiful and I really liked her wedding dress! But I couldn't help but think how bored or tired she must have been, just sitting there all afternoon greeting guests one by one and taking photos with them.

Around 5:30 we all entered the wedding hall. There were cute white seats with gold ribbons around them, but they looked a bit old. Each ribbon was shaped differently and you could tell they've been used lots of time. There was a beautiful white piano in the front and a woman played the wedding march song as the bride walked down the isle with her father. The bride and the groom were then standing in the front, facing this old guy who was giving a really long speech. A really long one... or maybe it just seemed that way because it was really hot inside and we were standing in the back of the hall. A Korean wedding ceremony doesn't take a long time. Most of the time is just this speech, I guess. After the speech, the groom played the violin for the bride. On my classmate's wedding the groom also prepared a performance for his bride - he sang to her. I don't know if this is something typically done, but it was definitely nice. Then the bride's sister also had a surprise dance prepared. It was really funny, she walked in the hall wearing a huge white ribbon on her head and started dancing to Orange Caramel song. Later the groom and their friends from Australia all joined in the dance so it was really fun :) Unfortunately I didn't record the video of the dance, but here's a music video of the song. Watch it and you'll get an idea of how it looked like.

Now here's the most disappointing part about Korean weddings for me: the wedding cake. I am a HUGE cake lover and I can never say no to a piece of cake or two. Therefore the best part for me about any wedding is the cake! However... in Korea, you don't get to eat the wedding cake. No one does :( I'd already learned that on the previous wedding so I wasn't too disappointed this time, but I asked my boyfriend and his sister: who gets to eat the cake?? What happens to the cake?? Lol They weren't sure, but they knew the cake wouldn't be served so no one would get to eat it. It is so strange to me. There IS a wedding cake on every wedding in Korea. And it is part of the wedding ceremony for the bride and the groom to cut the cake with a huge knife. But they don't eat it, they don't even taste it, they just cut it. I have no idea, but it might be the wedding hall's cake and I wouldn't be surprised if the next couple getting married got to cut the same cake. o_O

Also, there is usually no "you may kiss the bride part". It is not strange at all for the bride and groom to not kiss at all on their wedding. I mean, I don't expect them to make out in front of everyone, but a short peck on the lips would be nice... In my classmate's wedding, there was no "you may kiss the bride part" but the groom gave a small kiss to his bride at the end of the ceremony anyway. But he's from America as I had mentioned already. On this wedding it might have been because both the bride and the groom (and the bride's sister as well) live in Australia that they got to kiss. One of the guests (the groom's friend or relative, I don't remember) said he had three questions for the groom: 1. do you love Rachel (the bride)? 2. Are you confident that you will love her for the rest of your life? And the groom answered loudly with a "yes" to both of these questions. And the last one was "is she your first love?" which was meant as a joke. Then he asked the bride to kiss the groom while he counts to 5 (or 3 or 10, I don't remember, let's say it was 5). And if she stopped kissing him before he counted to 5, he'd kiss her instead of the groom. So because of that they were 'forced' to kiss. It was a kind of kiss you see in Asian dramas, where they just put their lips together but not move at all. And I honestly prefer that. I don't think we all need to see them use their tongues, as I am sure a lot of couples do on their weddings in America or Europe.

Other than that, there was a part where the bride read her letter to her parents. I didn't understand all of it, but it sounded really sad. She was reading it really slowly, trying not to cry while her voice was shaking. The whole ceremony didn't last long. They usually take less than 30 minutes, I guess. But during the whole time, there were phones ringing all the time and it seriously bothered me. I find it so annoying. Last time in the movie theater this guy's phone kept ringing in the middle of the horror movie and it was really annoying. When it finally stopped I thought he turned it off, but instead we all heard this loud voice of an old guy: "hello?" and he just kept on talking as if he was at home... no manners at all! Every phone can simply and quickly be put to silence mode and if you don't do it, it is not the technology's fault, it just shows your bad manners!

Anyway, after the ceremony the bride and the groom took photos with their friends and families. I also got to be in the photos together with their relatives :D And after you took a photo you were supposed to go to the dining hall with a buffet to eat. Actually, a lot of people left towards the end of the ceremony already. Maybe they were afraid they couldn't get a seat lol and I can understand them, because the first thing we heard on the speaker when we walked in the dining hall was "there are not enough chairs, so we kindly ask those who have finished eating to give up their chairs to other guests" lol How can that even happen, another mystery to me. I don't know if it was just the people from this wedding this time, but I heard in many wedding halls, people from different weddings eat in the same dining hall at the same time. I am not sure how it was this time since I couldn't possible remember every face from the wedding.

We got to sit together with my boyfriend's parents, his sister and some other relatives. There were tons of food and my boyfriend and I were starving. We walked around the buffet and picked out the food that looked most delicious. There was really a lot to choose from, even sushi. There were some desserts too, including tiny pieces of cakes. It wasn't a wedding cake, but it was better than nothing. While we were eating, the bride and the groom (wearing hanboks this time) were walking around chatting with guests, thanking them for coming. They didn't get to eat anything. I don't know how long we were sitting there, 30 minutes? an hour? After eating we kept on sitting and talking for a while until another announcement from the speaker told us it was time to leave. I looked around and most of the people were gone already.

After you finish eating you just get up and leave. That is usually how it's done on every wedding in Korea. So the whole things -  the ceremony and the meal together - doesn't last more than 2 hours. Guests don't bring wedding gifts but give money instead. You put money in an envelope, write your name on it and after you do that you get a coupon for the dining hall. I'm guessing that means if you don't give the money, you don't get to eat. At the first wedding I attended (my Slovenian friend) I wasn't prepared and no one had told me about this, so I really had no idea what to do and therefore didn't give any money. I felt kind of bad... On the next one I knew better and gave the money in an envelope. I wasn't sure how much to give, I guess it depends on how close you are to the bride or the groom. Also, I heard you can give less if you're a student. Anyway I asked around the school about how much I should give before I went to the wedding. This time I came together with my boyfriend so he gave the money for us.

All in all the wedding was nice and the food was delicious. I had a nice time and I was happy to finally meet my boyfriend's family. But I wouldn't want a wedding like that for myself. I would rather invite less people and have a small ceremony somewhere outside. I don't like these kind of wedding halls. At least this one had a door so it wasn't too loud (except for all the phones ringing) but in my classmate's wedding, the wedding hall didn't have a door, it was just kind of around the corner, so it was really really loud. I also don't like that feeling like you're supposed to just hurry and get it over with like "the ceremony is done, let's take photos... ok, photos are done, please move to the dining hall... there aren't enough chair so if you're done please leave... ok time to go home now etc". My boyfriend says it's because Koreans are so busy and because relatives come from all over Korea, so the ceremony can't take all day. And yes, I can partly understand that. Everyone is busy these days, who isn't? But you get married only once in your life (or it should be just once) and I think that's something worth making the time for.